Went to the Doctors this morning. I nearly changed my mind when I got there. Doctor was running 3/4 hour late and why oh why does the old man with the dodgy bowels always come and sit by me. I kept staring at the floor but no use. I had to sit and hear all about it including intimate details of his bowel movement at 4.15am this morning. Finally got to see the Doctor. Broke down and started crying as soon as I got in there so luckily Chris (macmillan nurse) had spoken to her and briefed her. She examined me especially where the pain is under my breast and checked my chest which is ok. She has given me different sleeping tablets to try as the ones I am currently on make me feel really sick in the morning. I am also going to start anti depressants again and see if they can give me the boost I am desperately needing. She took blood AND managed to get it first time. This is very unsual. My veins in my right arm are so bad it normally takes 4-5 attempts to get the blood. Got to wait now till Tuesday for the results. Depending on th results I may/may not be sent for a bone scan. There are still a few issues that i have to try and sort out. Pain control is one -i am very concerned about the high level of pain killing drugs that I am having to take. I am taking three different things for pain now so not happy about that. Also the lymphodema in my breast is causing me concern. I am supposed to do exercises to help this but the area around my scar is very painful so finding these hard to do.
Chris said she will still get me an appointment with the consultant and shes coming to see me again on Monday. Then on Wednesday I am going back to see the Doctor. Not going back to work till at least Thursday. The main request from both Chris and Doctor is that I have to rest. No running around/chores / nothing. Hopefully doing this ( I am sure it will drive me mad!!!) and some good nights sleep will start me back on the upward climb to being able to cope and deal with the whole situation.
Going to see Prince Caspian tonight with Gordon and Christopher. Then its the Big Brother eviction!!! Looking forward to those. Then a lazy weekend planned at home. Gordon may have to tie me to a chair to stop me doing things (lol) but will do my best to take it easy.
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16 comments:
Jools, I have followed your progress through being on Delia. You have many friends there and we are all routing for you. You are amazing and your energy, enthusiasm and love for your family is wonderful. Please keep positive. I intend to look in here often.
Karens Kitchen
Jools, I'm sorrier than I can say to hear that you're suffering so again. You've been through so much and are still battling hard against this awful illness. Like all your Delia friends, I wish you all the best.
Jools, I too follow your progress through being on Delia. I wish you well, stay positive. I intend to look here often.
Jayne1059
Jools, like KK, Gerry and many many others, I have followed your progress via DOL.
We all pray for your wellbeing and are amazed at how stoical you are. You have a sense of humour that shines through your posts which we hope to read for many many more years to come.
With warm wishes
Bea (Busy Bea)
It's good to see that you're getting the help you need and that you're trying everything to remain positive.
I think that cancer touches most people in some from or another, and we're all rootin' for you.
BTW, Prince Caspian is BRILL!!!!!!
Please stay positive, it is good to see you still have your sense of humour. I will be sending you vibes down the website to keep you strong, i really do admire you! Nenna.( a Delia-ite)
Jools - I am so sorry to ready your blog - though so glad you felt able to share it.
I have tears running down my face - I am so sorry - you sound like such an amazing person.
I don't know if you are religious or not - but hope it won't offend you if I say I will pray for you everyday, and light a candle for you in church on Sunday.
With my warm best wishes, Sheelagh x
Jools . Like the others I have been following your journey on Delia . All my love and prayers . Like Sheelagh I will opray for you . Susan xxx
Hi Jools,
I have also followed your illness via Delia, and likewise to many, i had no idea how serious the condition was. Your writings are eye opening and totally honest and frank. I hope this blog will help yu and your close family and friends. Thinking of you.
Love Sam
Jools- sorry to hear you are having such a bad time- keep fighting (and writing) you are an inspiration to all of us- Shelley (treehugger on Delia)
All my love and thoughts are going to you today Jools, so sorry to hear you are not feeling so good at the moment I do hope you can get some relief from the pain and something to help with the depression. It is not surprising you feel this way with everything you have had to go through and put up with. You are an inspiration to us all.
Good luck, I will also keep popping on here to keep up with your story.
Our best friends husband has just started Chemo for lung cancer which was diagnosed just a month ago now. I just hope he can be as brave as you.
Take care
Lesley (Impi on Delia)
Hi Jools, this is Ling from the Delia forum. Just wanted to share some info on alternative therapy with you. If you're interested, do take a look at the links below:
http://gersonsupportgroup.org.uk/GersonSupportGroup.html
http://www.cancerhelp.org.uk/help/default.asp?page=21853
Take care of yourself and my thoughts are with you.
Jools, I, like many others have followed your progress through the Delia site and you are amazing to be able to write all this down I do hope it helps. I've had tears in my eyes reading it all but I am sure your writing will help other people too.
I will be looking here often and hope you can stay positive
Take care, Lesley (lucyhan)
Hello Jools,
Another of you Delia friends here. I was so sorry to hear that you are still struggling with your illness. I think a blog is a very good idea for you to do, it's a bit like a not so private diary isn't it.
I hope you all enjoyed Prince Caspian last night, it has had extremely good reviews.
love your sense of humour..I thought your rant about the disabled car parking great fun to read, and very thought provoking too.
Be strong Jools..I shall come here again if I may.
Love Jennifer Merseyside.
Hi Jools, hope you have enjoyed your weekend with your family, and have managed to summon up a good appetite to devour that great Sunday Lunch lovingly prepared by the two men in your life. Take it easy, and keep positive, and keep bringing a smile to our faces with your humour on the Delia site.
Elaine, Yummy
Hi Jools, Merrie here from Delia. You are being very brave and strong. Has the doc suggested a Hickman Line for the drugs ? Or have you one already ? Thinking of you and your lovely hubby and son - sending cyber hugs.
Merrie xxx
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