Tired and Scared

I think the title of this post says it all. I feel totally exhausted this week . I don't have the energy to do anything so spending most of the time wrapped in a blanket either lying in bed or on the sofa. Woke up this morning with a throat that felt like broken glass. Looks like I am going down with the bug that everyone else has had. Finding it hard to swallow and coughing lots. Its very icy outside so walking Christopher to and from school is a huge effort for me. I so am frightened of falling over and hurting my hip. I am stuggling with my pain control at the moment. It seems once again to be out of control and what i am taking doesn't seem to be as effective as it was before Christmas. I have taken some more oramorph this morning which has made me a bit drowsy so will go to bed for a while, whilst Chris is at school.
I seem to be very close to tears most of the time. I am being very irritable and I know that I am very hard to live with at the moment. I seem to be flying off the handle constantly and picking fights with Gordon on the silliest little things. I think its because deep down I am so scared that its going to be bad news next week. In fact I am convinced it will be. I am so greatful that he is always there for me no matter what. Also my Mum, Dad and Sister. You guys are my rocks and the wind beneath my wings xxx