Still trying to pull myself together after last Thursdays bombshell. Friday was another bad day -just couldn't stop crying. I didnt sleep much Thursday night so felt awful all day. Was supposed to be going out Friday evening but couldn't face anyone. I alternate between sobbing and shedding silent tears. I am so frightened at what this might mean to me and my family. It's not fair -I keep thinking Why me? I don't want to die-I don't want to leave my family. I spoke to Christophers teacher so she was aware but again ended up breaking down. Once Chris got back from cubs last night we all snuggled down in our bed -I seem to want to keep as close as possible to Gordon and Chris and spend as much time as possible with them. I told Chris what had happened at the hospital -I can't pretend in front of him. He was very brave and good -his main worry was whether I would be able to let him have a halloween party!
Today we went out for the day as couldn't bare staying in and brooding. We went to Beaulieu which was wonderful -great memories of going there when I was a child. We then went into Lyndhurst for dinner. It was a lovely day
I will be going to bed early as tomorrow its my niece Ambers 3rd Birthday party. Am really looking forward to it but it will be hard facing people
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Dear Jools, I am sure that with your family to support you, you will find the strength to get through this awful time. Remember all of us are rooting for you, and take each day as it comes. Your day sounded lovely and I am sure there will be many more days like that for you.
love Merrie xxx (DoL)
Hi Jools - so glad us writing on here does mean something to you! - You really are in my thoughts and my prayers.
I didn't know you were in the New Forest area til I read this......we had our wedding reception at the Montague Arms in Beaulieu! - it's a pretty place and I am glad you had a nice day there yesterday.
Take care
Sheelagh xxx (DoL)
Jools,
You don't know me, I happened upon your blog because you used the words "Silent Tears." I am glad I did because I want to tell you that I am pulling for you--praying for you, too. Here is a big Cyber Hug coming at 'cha right now.
Kay
I'm here by way of Kay Bratt's blog, too. Just wanted you to know that there's a stranger across the pond praying for you and your family in this difficult time. May you find the comfort of The Father and the healing in His Wings. Blessings!
I'm also here from Kay's blog. I want to tell you how sorry I am that you are having to go through this. I am praying for you, praying for your family and wishing you peace, something it sounds like you are trying to find.
Blessings,
Denise
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