As I am typing this I can't stop crying. I am really scared. Went to the hospital today for results of CT scan. There are two oncologists at our hospital. One just monitors you and the other ALWAYS gives bad news. I knew things would be bad when the bad news onc walked in the room.
On the scan it is showing that i have a 5mm nodule on my chest wall. So it looks like its spread again. She did try and reassure me that ct scans pick up everything and that it could well be nothing.But of course i am now thinking the worse. They can't repeat scans too close together as you can't pick up on any changes. So next step is to repeat the CT scan to see if its still there. Thats going to be in January. So two months of sheer hell to get through
Very scared and VERY VERY Frightened -My heart is telling me its nothing but my head is telling me that its spread. I don't know what to do at the moment
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31 comments:
Thinking of you . I am sure all will be well . Susan xxxxx
Jools, take strength from your friends and family. Hope that this isn't as bad as you are thinking and that you can try and enjoy the next two months rather than dread them. We are all thinking of you and sending positive thoughts to you.
Keep strong, love and hugs.
Lesley (Impi)
Lots of love and hugs from James from DOL. Thinking of you my darling.
XXXXXXX
Just want to say my thoughts and prayers are with you.
AC from DOL
Go with your heart, Jools. Believe that it has not spread, use the power of positive mental attitude. I know it's all very well me saying that, it's harder to do so in reality but it can't hurt to try. Certainly everyone around you, including me is thinking positively for you.
We are all thinking of you.
Big hug, love
() :O)
Angel
x
Jools,
Try not to be scared, think positive....
I am useless with words...but....
think about christmas and your little boy and nice thoughts, it may help....
I will say a prayer for you....
Have a lovely day!!
Dolly
:0)
Hold on tight to the happy thoughts for the future. Prayers and thoughts are with you.
Lainey from DOL
Thinking of you and sending lots of good wishes. xxx from DOL
Jools what a nightmare for you, you must be feeling very scared, but stay positive, look after yourself and more importantly let others look after you. Take strength from your lovely husband and son. Am sending you tons of positive thoughts and best wishes.
With love
RC - also known as Cath xxxx
Lots of big hugs Jools. Try to focus on today rather than January XXxx
Thinking of you Jools,with love and good wishes.
Gill from DOL
xxxx
Your strength, determination and the love and support of your family and friends have brought you successfully through your journey so far. They will continue to do so.
Sending positive thoughts, hugs and love.
Steven
xxx
Jools, you are constantly in my thoughts and hope for the best outcome.
Love,
Gerry
XXX
Hi Jools,
Like yourself am very scared at the mo, starting my chemo on Thursday. Had a CT scan myself nearly a fortnight ago and it threw up alsorts-rushed into hospital for tests and scans ALL to no avail. So please take heart these scans throw up everything and lead to nothing in the end. Take care and am thinking of you.
janjam (DOL)xx
I hope today will be a better day. Keep dreaming up more apple recipes!
We are all thinking about you and willing you to get through this.
Love Elpe
keep ya chin up kiddo...look to the stars...let us all know how you get on...will send a prayer to the heavens for ya!
Rob from DOL xxxx
Jools- sorry to hear you are having a rough time- sending you hugs and best wishes,keep positive, Shelley xx
Love and thoughts from one of your delia buddies...positive thoughts Jools...all my best wishes in the whole world x x x x x x samcat-lynlet
Oh I so hope your fears are unfounded, thinking of you all. XXX
Head Up, Chest Out Jools, Thinking of you and sending positive Vibes your way. We are all behind you.
Elaine (Yummy)
Thinking of you Jools. Will say a prayer for you, and hope that all will be well.
Take care, Sheelagh x
sheila ( N.O.)
I am sending this to let you know
I think of you each day,
and pray for your recovery,
hoping soon you'll be ok.
you're going through a lot right now,
you're treatments can trying,
remember while you do them.
it's your problem you're defying
hold on to your positive attitude,
and when things get hard to bear,
know family and friends are there for you,remember that they care.
and when you're well and flourishing, look back and realize
you learned what you were made of
thats a reward that satisfies.
I BELIEVE IN YOU;YOU CAN DO IT.
LOVE AND HUGS,from Sheila (nanny ogg)
Jools, Thinking of you and although it must be hard, do try and be positive for the next two months.
Sending you lots of hugs and positive thoughts
Trish - Herts from DOL
My heart goes out to you.I wish with all my heart that all will be well.
Anastasia X
Jools, thinking of you and sending you cyber hugs. Lots of love
Merrie xxxxxxx
Jools
Pray to God with all your heart for him to heal you. Only He can perform miracles and this is what you need right now. Please do it for your family, for everyone who loves you and most importantly for yourself.
You will be in my prayers too.
May God Bless you.
Jools
I so admire your strengh and courage. You have never given up and I am sure this is the key to healing.My love and thoughts are with you and your family.My CT scan showed a problem but it proved to be nothing to wory about and I'm sure yours will be the same.
Love Maureen (cherry pie)
I can't really improve on what all the others have said. Chin up, and face the future with a brave smile.
Jools, I'm thinking of you and sending you the positivity I have in me. I hope you'll be ok and wish you all the best.
Love, Cinnamon from DOL.
Keep your chin up Jools. Positive thoughts and hugs coming across the ether to you.
Liz from Cumbria (DOL)
Julie - take care of yourself, take advantage of every day, eat healthy, exercise and do relaxation. Somethings are out of our hands and in Gods. While it is not the same, I was terrified 3.5 years ago when my husband was diagnosed as having cancer that had spread throughout his abdomen and metastasized to his liver. I prayed and cryed for a week before we got a ray of hope, it was a rare cancer that grows slowly - he probably had it for 10 or 20 years - before I had ever met him. He underwent radical surgery to remove much of his intestine and all the tumors they could find, including the one on the liver. It was easily the hardest, saddest time of my life. We had been married only 2 years and were expecting our 1st child. Right now, he is watching a baseball game in the other room, he is cancer free. Every situation is not the same, but God can do miracles even now! Even if its not what you want or hope for, God can give you the strength and wisdom to deal with your personal challenges in the best way possible. Will be praying for you.
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