Concert/Surprise Party

On Saturday We did another concert singing our 1940's programme. It went very well. I had to get a new dress as I accidently bleached my other one. The audience were really good and joined in with the singing. Here is a picture of all of us
The day of the concert was also Gordons birthday. My family came over for breakfast which was lovely..definately a tradition to keep up!
After the concert..although he didn't know I had arranged a surprise birthday party for Gordon. It was so hard keeping it a secret -I had to arrange all the food and make sure people were invited. Gordon just thought we were going for after concert drinks. His face was a picture as we walked into Caroline and Tims house and everyone shouted 'Happy Birthday'. He was really touched as noone had every done that for him before.It was a lovely surprise and a wonderful end to a great day. Thanks to Tim and Caroline for helping me organise the party and to Gordon, My lovely hubby -I love you so much

Scan

Last Friday I had my latest CT Scan. Usual nightmare. Last time I went for a scan i got told off for not mentioning that I had bad veins. So this time I made sure I did. I was thanked for mentioning the subject by the nurse. Three quarters of an hour and no hot water arrived. Got called in for the injection and then got told off about veins as usual. Well I got really cross and told the supervisor that i HAD mentioned about my veins WHEN i arrived but nothing was done. I hate CT scans they are so horrible. I get the results in a week and a half so watch this space!

I'm an Auntie again!

My lovely sister Angela gave birth to a boy yesterday at 3.41 am. His name is Toby James and he weighed 9lb 9oz. He is totally gorgeous and I have had loads of cuddles
Congratulations and lots of love to Angela, Gareth, Amber (who is a lovely big sister) and Toby from the three Suttons xxxxxxxxxxx

Rock bottom again....

I haven't posted for a while
I've also not been on any of the cancer websites that I normally haunt
One reason is that..well I have had lots of things going on. I have been singing in concerts to raise money for local charities based on a 1940's theme.Christopher turned 9 and we had a wonderful day out at the local hawk conservancy. All the children loved it and had a great time. Unfortunately I over did it and spent most of the following week in bed. I hate so much not being able to do the things I want to do. I also hate it so much that when I DO DO the things that I want to do I end up spending over a week to recover. Well it all built up and I hit rock bottom...lots of tears. With the help of my gp, nurse, family I am slowly building myself up again but it seems harder and harder everytime. Sometimes I think ..whats the point of trying as everytime it gets harder. I have a scan coming up which is preying on my mind and I am finally going to see a counseller. I feel so angry and bitter inside which I hate. At times it is sooo hard to fight these feelings. I don't want to give up on life but wish it could be easier...more importantly I cant understand...why me?..why did I have to get cancer.
On that note I will finish with a picture of Christopher on his birthday treat...it was a wonderful day and he loved every minute of it. I have also posted a picture of some of the operatic society in our 1940's costumes that we are wearing for our concerts. Our operatic society feels that it is very important to give something back to the local community so we do this by performing in concerts to raise money for local charities. This year has a 1940's theme and for the first time I am singing two solos plus a duet with Gordon. Last night was our first one and it was a huge success. Looking forward to the next one on July 4th!

my garden

I thought that you might like to see pictures of our veg plot. Its doing very well..things are begining to 'sprout' up. Gordon has been re discovering his creative side. He has made a second compost heap, did the fencing all around the veg plot, built the a frames and then last weekend the two of us worked together to make a den for Chris.Chris loves his den and all we need is some nice weather for him to play in it...Oh well at least the rain makes the plants grow!!. Chris has been doing well recently so fingers crossed. For the last two weeks he has been like the happy boy we used to have as our son. Before cancer

Run for fun

Christopher and Gordon did the Basingstoke Mens Run for Fun on Wednesday. It was to raise money for Cancer Research. I am so proud of both my guys...they ran 3 miles in 33 minutes. When they crossed the start line I couldn't stop crying with emotion. I was so proud to see them finish together hand in hand.
Here are a few pictures of my two guys after the race....so proud of you both and love you very very much

Garden etc

Well the garden is looking well...Lots of green shoots peeping up which is very exciting!!. I have to keep taking my book out as when I am weeding I am not sure if I am pulling up a weed or a veg...its all new to me!
Its May Bank holiday so a 3 day weekend. Yesterday we went to Mum and Dads for a BBQ. My sister and family were there as was my grand dad so it was a lovely family day.Amber and Chris get so excited when they are playing together
Today the three of us walked to the shops and then me and Gordon have been working in the garden again. Chris is out playing somewhere with a group of friends...he pops back when he gets hungry!!. Its nice that its so safe around here that he can do that.
Its been a sad time this past week. A friend of mine from the forums died this week. Kate was a wonderful friend...i was following her blog which is linked to mine. Kate defied the odds over and over again but in the end lost her stuggle against cancer.
We had a lot in common...she had a son the same age as Chris so we often compared notes. Kate I miss your advice, humour and support so much. I will be thinking of you and your family on Thursday. Hoping to get to the funeral but if not I will be remembering.
Chris is doing ok...the beginnning of the week was awful though. In the end we sat him down and talked about how horrible he was being to us..mostly me.We have also restricted his priviledges to certain stuff Since then he hasn't been perfect BUT a lot nicer to be around...He is trying very hard as are we. He wants to try and take up a martial art which I think will be good for him so am looking into that. Anything that can absorb his excess energy and help him work off his frustrations and anger would be a good thing