My Puppy

I mentioned that last year we adopted a gorgeous labrador/spaniel puppy called Minnie. She came to us when she was just 12 weeks old and was called Domino (on account of the white spots on her tum). We all thought Minnie suited her better..she is such a lady. I have never had a dog as good natured as Minnie..she is so loving. She loves hugs, cuddles and still thinks she is a lap dog although now she is getting a little bit big for my lap!. Christopher adores her..every morning she curls up at the foot of his ladder waiting for him to come down and play. Quite often they cuddle up on the same bean bag for a big hug. We were really unsure about getting a dog so young..you all know how scared I get about looking towards the future but once we saw her we fell in love. She has brought so much happiness into a house that definately needs it!
Here is a few pictures ranging from 12 weeks to 10 months of Minnie

A few up to date pictures

I thought I would post a couple of upto date pictures of us. They were taken on our recent holiday to Devon..The pics show, me, Gordon (in one pic), my sister Angela (in one pic), Brother in law Gareth, My fantastic son Christopher and my lovely niece and nephew Amber and Toby

Meetings and partings

This week another one of my cancer pals sadly passed away. It reminded me of the saying 'Life is full of meetings and partings'. Cancer has brought into my life some incredible women..some still with us..others sadly have passed away. They have enriched my life so much with their support and knowledge. I feel very privileged to know all of these women and wish to say a huge thankyou

Apologies and thanks

I am so sorry to the followers of this blog that I have been really remiss in keeping it updated. I seem to have a huge mental block at the moment about coming on here..so a BIG apology. I will try harder!
Not much has changed..the consultant still suspects a cancer spread to my lungs but this is still unconfirmed. He says that this doesnt make sense to him though as usually the spread is bones...liver..lungs and my liver looks clear. I'm still being scanned though every two months which is a huge strain. I suspect that I may be taken off Tamoxifen soon so will see what happens
I seem to be back and forth to my gp constantly at the moment as I continually don't feel well. I feel that my immune system is really weak as I pick up every bug thats going around. Unfortunately it then takes me ages to get over them. I keep going back to the Doctors but I feel like I am being ignored..my last visit was last week and again they have ordered blood tests. I dont have high hopes of a solution..All I want is help and advice of how to build up my immune system but feel like I am being fobbed off.
Thanks to all of you for your kind and best wishes ..things are not easy at the moment but I am still struggling on

scans and more snow

I am feeling better this week although still so tired all the time. This week has been scan week...both have had their ups and downs
On Tuesday I went for a bone scan. I hate bone scans..as I am slightly claustrophobic. In the morning I went for the radioactive dye which is injected into my arm. As usual the nurse struggled to find a vein. After two failed attempts she went and found a doctor who got the needle in first time. After that I had to go away and came back three hours later for the scan. With a bone scan the plate is so close to your face. It is very slow , you are strapped to the table and not allowed to move. I managed to get through it all using yoga techniques and keeping my eyes closed!
Wednesday was my ct scan. The night before we again had a heavy fall of snow. We listened to the radio when we woke and were really alarmed to hear that all the roads were gridlocked. It wasn't looking likely that we would make it to the hospital. My appointment was at 9.15 so I took Christopher to my neighbours and me and Gordon set off at 8am. The local radio station kept reporting heavy traffic and jack knifed lorries..on top of the stress of having a scan this wasn't helping!. We managed to get half way to the hospital in the car before the adverse weather stopped us. So we parked the car and decided to make the rest of the way on foot. It was really hard going as the snow was so deep..by the time I got to the hospital I was almost dead on my feet..Luckily I had Gordon and my walking stick to get my through. When I looked at myself in the mirror I was bright red in the face!
After yesterdays fiasco over the needle I took a hot water bottle with me and strapped it to my arm. I was so glad we had made it in..the phone in the office kept ringing with patients cancelling...the receptioneist said that If I had cancelled I would not have got a new appointment for at least 6 weeks. The CT staff were filling up the appointment gaps by scanning in patients which I found very distressing. There was a huge shortage of porters..one old man in a wheelchair had to sit there for over an hour and he kept screaming for someone to come and take him back to his ward. Another man in a bed was parked next to my chair...at first I thought he was unconscious but after a while he came round and kept pulling his trousers down and exposing himself which I found quite upsetting. As fast as the nurses kept pulling his trousers up, he kept pulling them down. I was so glad when he got taken back to his ward.
The hot water bottle helped and after yesterday i asked the nurses not to try and put the cannula into my arms and asked them to fetch the doctor. It was the same Doctor who was successful the day before. She was brilliant again and got the cannula in so fast. I dislike Ct Scans as when they flush your vein it feels like you have wet yourself..Fortunately I was expecting this and was glad that the scan went fine and very quickly. I was glad to find out when I came out of the scanning room to see Gordon. He had managed to retrieve the car from where we had abandoned it and brought it up to the hospital to take me hom. This was a huge relief as I knew that I hadn't the energy to walk back to where we had left it.
Now I have to wait...results are next Thursday so I need everyone to keep their fingers crossed for me.
The scans took a lot of energy out of me so haven't done much else this week. I did find time to treat myself to a hair cut. My hair has not been great recently and a lot of it has fallen out so I decided to have it all cut off into a new funky style. It looks great and is a real confidence booster for me
Don't forget to keep your fingers crossed!

SNOW!

Wow...another heavy snowfall this week...I don't remember having so much snow since I was little.!
Am feeling better...Since New years day I was quite ill with vomiting. I couldnt seem to get warm at all. I managed to get to the Doctor On Tuesday who took blood tests. I tried to explain to him that I am really concerned about my general state of health. My energy levels are so much less than they were six months..even twelve months ago. I am lucky if I get more than 4 hours sleep per night and I am constantly cold all the time. Unfortunately the GP was not sympathetic and said the reason I wasnt feeling well was because of the cancer. Well I disagree completely with that statement as I feel there are more underlying problems. I managed to get him to take some blood so hopefully there will be an answer. Already I have found out that my thyroid is low so thats not helping things..fingers crossed!
Back to the snow. The roads are not too bad where we are although our close is quite icy..once you are on the main roads you are fine. Christopher was delighted to be off school all week although his school reopened this morning (one of two in the whole of Basingstoke). We have plenty of food in the house...but I was amazed at how people are panic buying and clearing shelves especially bread and milk. We are lucky to have a good village shop and an excellent butcher in our village. The butcher in particular is brilliant so went there today to fill the freezer...I am not driving in this weather!!. I am trying not to think about my scans next week..I hope that i will still be able to have them...with all this snow there is a possibility that they might be cancelled. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me that they don't
xxx

2010

First I want to apologise to you all for abandoning this blog so abruptly without no further word to you all. I also want to thank everyone who has enquired about me and wanting to know if I am ok.
I stopped writing the blog as I wanted a complete break. My last scan showed that there was no change to the cancer in my hip and that the suspected cancer in my chest was still growing but slowly. I needed to get away from anything cancer related..blogs, websites..at one stage I was visiting some cancer pags 5-6 times a day. Not healthy for me. So I have had a complete break.
Now I am back!..to bore you all again! The three of us had the summer that we longed for..cornwall was blissful..we had great plans for the fortnight but ended up spending all the days relaxing on the beach. The other major change to our lives was that we adopted from a rescue a 12 week old puppy called Minnie. We thought long and hard about getting another dog after Chloe died as its such a major long term commitment (And thats something we have tended to shy away from). Wow what a change to our lives..its just like having a baby in the house. Its been wonderful to have something positive in our lives..its especially been wonderful for Christopher to have something to love
Well what will 2010 bring for me...A huge change is that I am being handed over to another consultant. The hospital are referring everyone with metastic involvement to new doctor who has just been hired. I am nervous of going to see someone new..Dr Tinkler has been with me since diagnose so I have learnt to rely on her support..I am pretty selfish about my medical professionals..I like to see the same person be it GP, Nurse or consultant so this will be a hard thing. Before I go to see him I am getting ready for my followup scans..this time they are on 12/13th January. Hopefully the results will follow in time for my consultants appoint ment on January 21st. My main problem is exhaustion these days. I hate the fact that I cannot do things that I long to do. The exhaustion is much more that it was last year and the year before.I also feel bad when I see how much pressure there is on Gordon as main wage earner and carer to me..I am sure that the last thing he wants to do is come in and start looking after a poorly wife after a hard day at work. He is back in London now so cannot come home as quickly as he used to..He tries not to complain but I can see how hard this all is on him. Christopher is an angel..loving, caring to me. This year it will be important for him as we have to choose a secondary school for him..I want to make the right choice for him
So just to let everyone know...i am fine..very tired, apprehensive at times as to whether I am deteriorating health wise..A ticking time bomb i think!